


LOLOMG cupcakes

by KDHeart



Series: KD's bakery [4]
Category: Rusty Quill Gaming (Podcast)
Genre: Baked Goods, Baking, Gen, Recipes, not the bakery AU you expected is it?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2021-01-10
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:33:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 2,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24476551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KDHeart/pseuds/KDHeart
Summary: The LOLOMG (and handler) as cupcakes - I'm dragging this fandom into my kitchen, too :D1. Oscar Wilde velvet cupcakes2. Azu mini soufle cheesecake3. Zolf salted caramel muffins4. Sasha ricotta lemon and cocoa cupcakes5. Hamid (and the kobolds) paprika and ginger mini-cupcakes6. Grizzop coffee mini-cupcakes7. Bertie chocolate cake8. Cel matcha and ginger cupcakes with mascarpone and whiskey frosting“How you can sit there, calmly eating muffins when we are in this horrible trouble, I can’t make out. You seem to me to be perfectly heartless." Oscar Wilde
Series: KD's bakery [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1194675
Comments: 42
Kudos: 54





	1. Oscar Wilde velvet cupcakes

**Author's Note:**

> Look... it had to be done. I wish I could share baked goods with all my fandom friends, but there's distance and time zones and a fucking pandemic, so the least I can do is share the pics and recipes so you can make your own :D
> 
> "One should always eat muffins quite calmly. It is the only way to eat them." Oscar Wilde

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going for something fancy with Wilde, but circumstances conspired to make these into Japan!Wilde specifically - holding it together and looks pretty ok, but has gone through some shit and knives are involved.  
> (They're still delicious, just... not as fancy as I set out)

Japan!Oscar Wilde as velvet cupcakes with mascarpone and Cointreau frosting ~~(bc he needs a drink)~~

So, I set out to make some nice red velvet cupcakes, except halfway through, I realized I was out of red food dye... 'Fine, I'm making them green,' I say, thinking it would be a nice touch (especially with the green casings) and forgetting that the cocoa would hide it anyway. 

Also, they're made with coffee essence, rather than vanilla, because his blood is probably half caffeine at this point in the campaign ~~(he needs a nap! let him rest, alex!)~~ and rice vinegar, because at this point, it just felt appropriate.

And the frosting was applied with a knife, because my piping bag fell apart in my hands. It seemed appropriate.

Based on [this recipe for red velvet cupcakes ](https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/red-velvet-cupcake)

Ingrdients:

  * 150g plain flour
  * 1 tbsp cocoa powder
  * 1 tsp bicarbonate of soda
  * 50g butter, softened
  * 150g sugar
  * 1 large egg, beaten
  * 1 tsp coffee essence
  * 100ml buttermilk or kefir
  * 50ml vegetable oil
  * 1 tsp rice vinegar



  1. Preheat oven (Gas Mark 4/180° C/350 F)
  2. Mix flour, salt, cocoa and bicarbonate of soda
  3. In another bowl, mix butter and sugar until fluffy. Add the coffee extract and then beat in the egg, buttermilk, oil and vinegar until combined.
  4. Gradually add in the dry mixture
  5. Spoon the batter into the muffin tray and bake for 20min
  6. Let them cool in the tray for 1-2min after you take them out and then let them cool completely



Frosting:

  * 250gr mascarpone
  * 3 tbsp caster sugar
  * 2 tbsp Cointreau
  * green food colouring (which I was out of) 


  1. Mix everithing together until stiff
  2. Apply to cupcake with a butter knife




	2. Azu mini soufle cheesecake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Azu is very pink and very soft and very fluffy, ok? So I made her as heart-shaped mini cheesecakes (of the fluffy Japanese kind). With a dash of Cointreau and rose water. And pink lemon glazing for armor.

The Azu cupcakes were pretty uneventful - everything went according to plan and turned out adorable and delicious!

Pink glazing made with lemon juice for the armor. I even made her a tiny, pink battle axe!

Soft, pink and slightly boozy, because our girl needs a drink after everything that's happened.

The recipe I used is inspired by this [Japanese Soufle Cheesecake](https://youtu.be/Qn_JYHm57D0) recipe and it makes about 17 cupcake-sized ones. I used silicone molds for this and you'll need to place them in the oven in a tray of water. Don't worry about all the complicated steps in the mixing process, I usually just use an electric mixer for everything except incorporating the egg whites and skip all the straining and mixing over a steam bath (or whatever the term is) and it works out well.

Ingredients

  * 3 eggs (separated)
  * 250gr mascarpone
  * 8tbsp sugar - 3tbsp to be mixed with the cheese and 5tbsp for beating the egg whites
  * 4tbsp cake flour
  * 1tbsp Cointreaux
  * 1tbsp rose water
  * 1tsp red food coloring



  1. Preheat oven on the minimum setting
  2. separate the eggs
  3. mix the mascarpone and 3tbsp of sugar together, then add the cointreau, rose water and food coloring
  4. sift in the flour (either with a whisk or the mixer)
  5. in a different bowl, beat the egg whites, gradually adding in the other 5tbsp of sugar
  6. ad half the egg whites to the mix gradually and stir it in with a whisk
  7. pour into cupcake molds in a tray with water
  8. leave them to bake at Gas Mark 3/160° C/320 F for about 30min
  9. turn the heat down to Gas Mark 1 for another 10min
  10. turn off the heat and let them sit in the oven with the door cracked for another 10min 
  11. take them out of their molds and let them cool off



Glazing

  * 1tsp lemon juice
  * ~100gr sugar (maybe more)
  * a few drops of red food coloring


  1. mix until you get a nice consistency 
  2. apply to cheesecake in a heart shape



Battleaxe optional


	3. Zolf salted caramel muffins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Salted caramel for the former navy, former pirate, former cleric of Poseidon with coffee glazing as armor.

These are probably the easiest to make out of the series so far - I got a bit carried away with the ingredients, because I needed to empty the fridge, but actually making them is just a process of gradually mixing everything in without any other sort of fuss and I think Zolf would appreciate that.

The glaive I made looks more like a quill... but eh, it works too, i guess...

And yes, mermaid casings :D

Ingredients

  * 60 gr butter
  * 100 gr Greek yogurt
  * 1 tbsp sour cream
  * 100 gr sugar
  * 110 gr brown sugar
  * 2 eggs
  * 1 tsp vanilla essence
  * 1 tsp coffee essence
  * 1/2 tsp salt
  * 1 tsp baking powder
  * 125 ml milk
  * 200 gr flour



or (bc there really is no need to over-complicate things)

  * 100 gr butter
  * 210 gr sugar (caster and brown mixed)
  * 2 eggs
  * 1 tsp vanilla essence
  * 1 tsp coffee essence
  * 1/2 tsp salt
  * 1 tsp baking powder
  * 125 ml milk
  * 200 gr flour


  1. Preheat oven (Gas Mark 4/180° C/350 F)
  2. Mix butter, sugar, yogurt and sourcream in a bowl until fluffy. Add vanilla and coffee extract, then the eggs one at a time, beating between each addition.
  3. Mix in half the flour, the baking powder and the salt
  4. Add half the milk
  5. Mix in the rest of the flour and add the rest of the milk
  6. Spoon the batter into the muffin tray and bake for 20min
  7. Let them cool in the tray for 1-2min after you take them out and then let them cool completely



Glazing

  * 1 tsp milk
  * 1 tsp coffee essence
  * ~100 gr powdered sugar



mix until you get the right consistency and spread it over the muffins with a spoon


	4. Sasha ricotta lemon and cocoa cupcakes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The base is chocolate, then ricotta with lemon and cocoa sprinkled on top to make it look burnt, and the cheese cracked nicely, to make it look scared.

I am really happy with these! I had the idea of what to do for Sasha for a few weeks and once I finally got around to it, it flowed like... cupcake batter into a cupcake tray (I don't have Lydia's ease with similes)

I love how the cocoa and cheese worked out to give them a nice, burnt-looking texture, with scars and burns, while still being soft and cheesy.

Ingredients:

  * 50gr flour
  * 50gr sugar
  * 50gr butter
  * 1/2 tsp baking powder
  * 2 eggs (one for the batter, one for the cheese)
  * 250gr ricotta
  * 3 tbsp lemon juice
  * 60gr sugar
  * 3 tsp cocoa



  1. Preheat oven (Gas Mark 5/190° C/375 F)
  2. Mix the butter and sugar (50gr) in a bowl until fluffy. 
  3. Add 2 tsp cocoa
  4. Add one egg
  5. Mix in the flour and baking powder
  6. Spoon into the cupcake casings (1 tbsp/cup, should be less than 1/3)
  7. Mix the ricotta and sugar (60gr) with the lemon juice
  8. Spoon into cupcake casings over the batter
  9. Dust the cupcakes with cocoa (1 tsp) to make them look burnt
  10. Bake for 15-20min




	5. Hamid (and the kobolds) paprika and ginger mini-cupcakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spicy mini cupcakes for all our dagonny faves. Featuring buttercream amaretto (Hamid) and paprika-orange frosting (the kobolds)

I mostly improvised and I'm not sure I can share a coherent recipe for these.

I wanted to do something spicy for Hamid, since he's got the draconic lineage going for him, and then I realized this would fit the kobolds as well. So the difference is solely in the frosting. 

The ingredients are very approximate, as I didn't really measure anything out

  * 50gr butter
  * 110gr sugar
  * 1 egg
  * 1 tsp baking powder
  * 100gr of flour-ish
  * 2 tsp paprika
  * 2 tsp ginger
  * 1/2 tsp pepper
  * 1/2 tsp nutmeg
  * 1/2 tsp cinnamon
  * the juice of two small oranges (about 70ml i guess)


  1. Preheat oven (Gas Mark 4/180° C/350 F)
  2. Mix butter and sugar, then add in the egg. Add in the paprika, ginger, cinnamon, nutmeg and pepper. 
  3. Mix in half the flour and the baking powder.
  4. Add the orange juice. 
  5. Mix in the rest of the flour.
  6. Spoon the batter into the muffin tray and bake for 20min. 
  7. Leave it on the lowest setting for another 10 minutes, to make them a bit crunchy.
  8. Take them out and let them cool.



Frosting

Hamid: Amaretto buttercream (i only made enough for six mini cupcakes)

  * 30gr butter
  * 1 tbsp amaretto
  * red and blue food coloring
  * lots of powdered sugar



Kobolds: orange and paprika glazing

  * 1 tsp orange juice
  * 1 tsp paprika
  * a few drops of red coloring
  * powdered sugar



(just... add enough sugar until you get a firm enough texture. I have no clue)


	6. Grizzop coffee mini-cupcakes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Caffeinated goblin time!

I figured out what I wanted to do for Grizzop early on, but it took me a long time to actually get around to making these. The answer was obviously coffee. Lots of coffee. In a very small cupcake. With glazing for armor.

Ingredients (for 24 mini-cupcakes)

  * 70gr butter
  * 100gr sugar
  * 1 egg
  * 1tsp baking powder
  * 1tsp cocoa
  * about 3/4cup very concentrated coffee (you'll need about a teaspoon for the glazing)
  * about 100gr flour


  1. Preheat oven (Gas Mark 4/180° C/350 F)
  2. Mix butter and sugar, then add in the egg. 
  3. Mix in the cocoa, half the flour and the baking powder.
  4. Add the coffee.
  5. Mix in the rest of the flour.
  6. Spoon the batter into the muffin tray and bake for 20min.
  7. Leave it on the lowest setting for another 10 minutes, to make them a bit crunchy.
  8. Take them out and let them cool.



Glazing

  * 1tsp coffee
  * powdered sugar




	7. Bertie chocolate cake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tried to make something fancy. Fucked up. Played it off like I meant to.

I don't think an actual recipe can do the Bertieness of this cake justice. If you want to make it properly, start with a [Japanese strawberry shortcake](https://www.contemplatingsweets.com/japanese-strawberry-shortcake/) and add two spoons of cocoa and a teaspoon of cinnamon to the batter and replace the cream with mascarpone.

So, you want to make Bertie into a cupcake... But he's too majestic for a mere cupcake! So you decide to use that brand new mini-cake pan you just bought.

You weren't planning to make a cake, but that's ok, you can adapt the cupcake recipe you were planning to use... Except your sister insists she wants the Japanese shortcake. Ok, that seems appropriate enough, especially with some cocoa and raspberries (you hate raspberries, but everyone else loves them, so that's very Bertie)

You separate the eggs, get all the ingredients ready... and then you find out you don't have a mixer. Ok, fine, you'll do this by hand. Where's the whisk? No, there's no whisk, either.

You get handed a frappe mixer. You try to make due with that.

You give up after ten minutes of achieving nothing.

You decide to give up on any hope for sponge cake and just throw the whites in with the rest on the ingredients and start mixing the old fashioned way, with a fork.

You paper the pan, pour the batter in and leave it in the oven for about... I have no idea how long this took. Probably an hour at low heat... I think.

[A/N: PLEASE, DON'T FOLLOW THESE INSTRUCTIONS!!!]

Eventually, you take it out of the oven once it's done... and the brand new cake pan breaks when you try to take the cake out... fml!

You now have chocolate cake. It's a bit dense and a bit domed, but it tastes nice and it's cooked all the way through, so it's fine...

Let it cool and start working on the frosting.

Remember, you don't have a mixer or a whisk, so you stubbornly start beating the mascarpone and sugar and whatever alcohol is in this (there's probably some sort of fancy spirits, you've used them for most of these) with a fork. It doesn't go well, but you hope it's going to firm up in the fridge.

Cut the cake in half (well... the halves don't have to be equal...) and slather it in cream...

Actually, it's too thin to slather on anything. Just poor the cream on top and let it drip over the sides to make it look like you meant it.

Let it chill in the fridge for a bit, hoping the cream will firm up enough to support the fruit.

Decorate with raspberries.

Realize the berries will drip off anyway, so put lots of berries around it to make it look fancy and deliberate.

Leave it in the fridge overnight.

Yes, the cream has dripped over the sides and some of the berries have fallen over, but it looks fancy enough. It can bluster it's way into making others think it was artistically disheveled and not put together in a panic.


	8. Cel matcha and ginger cupcakes with mascarpone and whiskey frosting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cel is a mix of flavors from all over the place, with a dash of whiskey ;)

I had a plan and the plan worked out perfectly!

Since Cel is so widely traveled and they met the rest of the party in Japan, I went with matcha, ginger, mascarpone and whiskey to get as wide a mix of flavors and ingredients as I could (ok, the mascarpone is there because I really like how it turns out and is a lot more satisfying than my great nemesis - buttercream). Also, I tried to get the most fluffy cupcake for the half-elf ~~and I'm really sorry I didn't record my sister's reaction to them, because it was the most satisfying reaction to my baking I ever got!~~

~~~~

~~~~

~~~~

**Ingredients (for 8 cupcakes)**

  * 2 eggs (separated)
  * 4 tbsp sugar
  * 2 tbsp cake flour
  * 1 tsp matcha
  * 1 tsp ground ginger
  * 1 tsp rice flour (you can probably use cake flour and get the same texture)
  * 1 tbsp milk
  * 1/2 tsp melted butter/oil



  1. Preheat oven (Gas Mark 4/180° C/350 F)
  2. Beat the egg whites with 2 tbsp sugar until it forms stiff peaks
  3. Beat the yolks with 2 tbsp sugar
  4. Sift in the matcha, ginger, rice flour and cake flour gradually and mix it in slowly
  5. Mix in the milk and butter/oil
  6. Add the egg whites and fold them in carefully
  7. Spoon the batter into the muffin tray and bake for 15min
  8. Leave them in the oven for 10 more minutes while it cools (door ajar) so they don't completely deflate
  9. Take them out and let them cool



**Frosting**

  * 250gr mascarpone
  * 3 tbsp caster sugar
  * 2 tbsp whiskey



Mix everything together until stiff

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Grizzop in Rome [cupcake]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28319619) by [KDHeart](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KDHeart/pseuds/KDHeart)




End file.
